You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
