im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
