bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
