whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
