dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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