Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
