We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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