you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You are the jesus of drinking
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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