physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
