I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
