Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
last night I used snow as a chaser
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
