Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
