I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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