My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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