the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i drank out of a bidet.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
