Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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