I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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