I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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