never play flip cup with pint glasses
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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