so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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