we have officially lost it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
