If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
