Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
