did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
