Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
