i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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