Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
