it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
