Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
