its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
