were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
