So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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