im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
