4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I need help removing her.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
