Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
