He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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