her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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