Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
FUCK WHALES
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
