I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
