2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
