were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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