She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
