If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
