I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
