why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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