I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
