I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
