I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
