I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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