If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
