Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My bed smells like the plague
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
