hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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